[00:00:00] Dr. Singh: Welcome to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Jessica Singh. This podcast explores physician health, wellbeing, and fulfillment, embracing all aspects of the human experience, just as in medicine where a single interaction can transform a life. This podcast is grounded on the belief that each coaching conversation has the power.

[00:00:29] To inspire, heal, and bring about meaningful change.

[00:00:36] Dr. Singh: Today I have the privilege of coaching Mary, who is a family medicine physician in her first year of residency in the United States. This is our first coaching session together. Welcome Mary. 

[00:00:49] Dr. Mary: Good to be here. 

[00:00:51] Dr. Singh: In this session today, we will get to know and explore what brings you to coaching. And we have about 45 minutes together. So we may or may not get through all of this in one session. And If it takes more than one session, it's perfectly okay.

[00:01:06] And this is more of an exploration phase really to assess what's going on and to figure out where you'd like to explore and how you think coaching can help you. Since it's early on, that's the agenda or intent for initial conversations and then you'll see as we continue coaching together, you will be the one driving and you're going to be driving for the rest of our session together and the topics, everything that we explore is completely up to you.

[00:01:36] This is solely for you where you are the expert here.

[00:01:40] Dr. Mary: Thank you. 

[00:01:41] What brings you to coaching? 

[00:01:44] So you introduced the concept to me and I really liked the idea of, in this period of my life right now, being an intern, but also, I'm a new mom as of 5 weeks ago yesterday, and on maternity leave, experiencing all that there is to motherhood, also having lots of big transitions and mental emotional, I would say, transitions as well, and just thinking about going back to residency and all the things so trying to, I would say, set myself up for success in the balance of being a mother and a doctor. And I have no idea how that quite looks like. So that's the primary reason why I've been drawn to coaching with you.

[00:02:31] Dr. Singh: Hearing a lot of new transitions. 

[00:02:34] Dr. Mary: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. 

[00:02:35] Dr. Singh: New experiences, beginning of motherhood, balancing that with being a physician and having this precious gift of time off and then preparing to go back to work. 

[00:02:47] Dr. Mary: Very much. It's a big transition of having, 12 hour days in the hospital if not more, from being on maternity leave.

[00:02:55] So Yes, that is all being a new physician because I'm only I guess five months into intern year. So it's a lot. 

[00:03:08] Dr. Singh: And what are you hoping to maybe explore more with coaching?

[00:03:15] Dr. Mary: I'm honestly not quite sure because the idea of coaching is still fairly new to me. , like I know it's not counseling. I know it's, we're not therapy. I know it's not like a typical mentorship. So kind of exploring how this dynamic can kind of help me explore my own thoughts and myself, and gaining, I guess, confidence in this transition and being less fearful and all the mixed emotions I can come with big transitions in life in general, but also working and being a mother and all the things.

[00:03:50] Dr. Singh: Very well put. It's one thing to say "Hey, this is what coaching is" especially Have you coached before? Yeah, for the first time, it's like, "Oh, this is what it is." And you can hear it. And maybe it makes sense that, "Hey, this is a thought partnership trying to help you with transformation, facilitate that space of growth."

[00:04:09] But it's so hard to concretely understand what that is until you go through it. So right now, and I appreciate your open mindedness for this experience.

[00:04:21] So that being said, I know you have, in terms of the timing of your life right now with all these transitions, can you tell me a little bit more about what it is that you're navigating?

[00:04:31] Dr. Mary: Navigating, , trying to function and keep myself alive while keeping the baby alive. My husband's very supportive and he's here with me too. He is also a student right now, actually. But he, , now has some breaks. So he and I are both full time parents right now. but just navigating what it's like to have sleep deprivation in the next level. And then also, you know, taking care of myself, taking care of my baby, I'll call him OJ, and then navigating what it's like to try to prepare myself to return to residency, essentially.

[00:05:24] , just like talking with interns, my, my co interns who are really supportive, but there's, I think in my mind, like a perception that, , , I'm still a resident and I'm not there with my co residents who are on night shifts and doing lots of extra time in the holidays as well. And I'm getting a leave off in the holidays.

[00:05:45] So there's navigating, I think, emotions too, of needing to be in two places at once and feeling like, not that I'm perceived as letting my co residents down, but I feel like I might be letting them down because I'm not there for them when they have a really hard night or day in the hospital or... like navigating the whole structure of schedules, expectations, and then also the emotions of all the transitions.

[00:06:14] Lots to unpack. 

[00:06:17] Dr. Singh: Yes. Lots of unpacking to do. And just listening to all these different situations that are happening for you right now is to ask you about your beliefs and values as a person and what's been giving you strength and guiding your way?

[00:06:36] Dr. Mary: well, I think it's still hard for me to put in words, like, what are my beliefs ultimately? , and I'm a Christian and I was raised very much like faith oriented. So immediately my mind goes to like those types of beliefs, but, , I think to my, like my core as a person, my major beliefs are family being a major priority. That is why my husband and I decided to be crazy and have a baby at this time when he's student and I'm an intern. A lot of that is very much a belief that it will be okay. That this is something that is a beautiful, wonderful thing and a very big priority to us. So I believe in the value of family being the most important thing in our lives.

[00:07:20] And then I guess the definition of belief and value. I'm going to kind of go interchangeably, I suppose, but that part of my identity is being a physician in a way, although I am new at it, you know, what I've always wanted to be, and it's a service oriented position. And that's a major belief system of mine is that we are meant to serve others and help improve the lives of others around us and improve the world, the contribution to, society and everything. So, I guess all of those beliefs right now are kind of the big things in my mind determining the two roles that I'm in right now and motherhood and being a physician.

[00:08:01] I'm sure I have plenty of other beliefs and, you know, values and such, but nothing that's like, I would say is present in my mind right now in this big transition. 

[00:08:11] Dr. Singh: When you think about your beliefs, your spirituality, faith, belief in service, prioritization of your family, how ideally do you envision yourself navigating through not only these transitions, but just your journey as a physician?

[00:08:27] Dr. Mary: I see the ideal as like what I see, I suppose, in other women physicians who I know and, admire, like a lot of my endings are women who are mothers and seem to be in 30 different places at once. And I don't know how they sleep because of all the things that they do. I don't know that's necessarily ideal.

[00:08:52] And if anything, if I think that's part of the problem for me is it's very hard to visualize the ideal. Because I feel that, even the happiest and healthiest of like women physicians still wish that they were home more, you know. We always wish that we were with family more or had more time to do things that we love to do, less time at work, even though we invest so much time to attain this career that we know we're getting into that's going to be very consuming. Not that it necessarily has to be, but certainly residency is. so I'm not sure I really know the ideal. I guess that's part of the conflict is what I'm trying to say. 

[00:09:33] Dr. Singh: But having these inspirations, or at least these ideals of what you see other women in medicine doing and trying to figure out, is that really reality, what you're seeing, and will that align with you?

[00:09:44] Dr. Mary: Right, exactly. Is it reality that I'm seeing, or is it possible even to have a healthy balance? The quintessential work life balance, is that really possible especially, you know, as a physician in residency as well? 

[00:10:00] Dr. Singh: May I ask you, when you say that, , is it really possible to have a work life balance as a physician, where are you feeling that? What's coming to you as you notice your energy, emotions and any sensations in your body? What comes to you when you even just say that question, thinking about work life balance as in medicine, is it possible? 

[00:10:20] Dr. Mary: Uh, well, it's definitely a visceral anxiety. I think, I feel like the male and female friends that I've had in medical school and in residency now, we all increasingly want to have more time off as we are progressively working more and more into the system and realizing what a typical physician's schedule can be; that even outside of residency, it may not be more relaxed, but it might be just as busy. I can get feel a, an anxiety that there isn't quite a balance as I would hope prior to medical school. It's easy to get focused in this tunnel vision that like, I have one goal, and that is I want to be a doctor. And then, I get married and now there's another goal there and I was not anticipating having that so early, nor, really, had I ever found a solution to kind of reconcile these two worlds of family and physician, I guess it's ironic. I'm family medicine physician. And that again fits my value system that care about the whole aspect of the human family, the grandpa, the baby, and the presence of a physician in the life of a family, and taking care of them. But yes, going back to your question, it's more of a gut anxiety, which at baseline, I do have anxiety.

[00:11:53] So I will say that, , although it's been much improved over the years. and I really, ,have to thank my husband for that, especially in medical school, anxiety is a peak, and even going into our marriage, it was a big point of anxiety for me, bringing him to where I am in medical school and then on residency, having this concern for our future and, , what is a balance going to look like?

[00:12:20] And neither of us really knowing, neither of us having anyone in our family who's like a medical background. So much anxiety. Or unsurety, really not knowing the future or how to plan it out. 

[00:12:38] Dr. Singh: It sounds like you've also had a lot of significant pivots. Like you had mentioned your first goal initially was that one goal of wanting to get into med school and be a doctor.

[00:12:47] And then life happens.

[00:12:50] Dr. Mary: Yes. Was not planning. So I got married about two weeks before medical school started. And brought my husband to medical school, which is a wonderful blessing and I definitely would not have survived without him anyway. But I feel like a lot of people who want to become a physician, that is such an all consuming goal for so many years and then once you're there, you want to also start living other aspects of your life reasonable from waiting so long. So 

[00:13:24] Dr. Singh: When you said that, it sounded almost like an aha or like a click, like it was interesting. You realize that you're in family medicine physician caring for the same family. And what I'm hearing is it sounds like you want to have that same alignment, those same values that drew you to family medicine in the first place for yourself and wondering if it's possible.

[00:13:46] Dr. Mary: That is very much true, I would say. Family medicine as a profession always seemed to be the most, true to how I see true original medicine, caring for the person, caring for the family, caring for not just the disease or the symptoms, but the person as a whole and their whole relationship with their disease, the psychosocial aspect of it all and how their disease or how their health and wellness interacts with their family, too, is a priority and the family medicine physicians role in treating this person. So I would say, yeah, definitely aligns very much with my values. Even before when I was in medical school, I always knew I wanted to do family medicine.

[00:14:35] Dr. Singh: And how has this time been for you now? I think you said it was five weeks, right? Five weeks as of yesterday of being a new mom. And how has that time been for you? That transition been not only into motherhood, but obviously also spending five weeks away from the hospital when you had mentioned that your colleagues are working and it's holidays.

[00:14:57] Dr. Mary: Yes, yes, yes. Well, it is definitely hard to take care of a newborn. That is certainly no joke. Although I would say that my baby is pretty chill compared to some that I've heard, so I can't complain. but being first time mom, it is still overwhelming and interestingly, I think being a medical student and then an intern and having your schedule flipped with nights and days and nights and days, An easier transition with sleep deprivation, but still not easy by any means, and in a more personal sense, feel like it's every day, you just have to take it a day at a time, because every day, there's different emotions.

[00:15:47] Some days I feel great. I'm like, "wow, this is perfect. This is how I imagined having a baby would be, and being a mother", and feeling love for him, and feeling not totally frazzled, but that, you know, we can breastfeed every other hour, and I won't go insane, and it's a bonding experience, and then the next day, didn't sleep well, I haven't showered in three days, and I'm exhausted, and frazzled, and I'm like, "wow, this is a lot, and very difficult to keep a positive mindset", and, Then, "oh my goodness, what's this going to be like on top of going back to work?"

[00:16:30] So, I think it's very much a best of times, not necessarily the worst of times, but harder, harder times than I think I anticipated initially. Overall good, like worth it. Not saying I regret having a baby by any means, but certainly I see, oh, 100 percent like how it's like one in four women, or whoever the statistic is, can develop postpartum depression.

[00:16:55] It's just, it's a lot.

[00:16:58] Dr. Singh: It's a lot and a lot of emotional and hormonal physiologic changes that naturally happen after birth. 

[00:17:05] Dr. Mary: And then you mentioned how I had some feelings too about, you know, feeling bad for my co interns who are I think some very rough night. Ironically, I was on labor and delivery up until I delivered my baby and I was, with my co intern on the labor and delivery unit.

[00:17:23] And so we got very close and she almost delivered my baby, but it ended up not lining up and I think that's okay. So I don't, didn't traumatize her, but she had a very rough night later on a couple of weeks then while I was on maternity leave and had a patient almost die. And she came by to see me and check in and I don't know, my heart just goes out to my co interns who are also having a hard time. And part of my nature, I feel like to want to be there. Like when we are all together on didactic and check in on people and see how everyone's doing. And I'm seeing some of my interns in person when they come visit me or, we'll talk on the phone, but I generally just feel like it's hard be there for them as well.

[00:18:08] And not that there's any obligation, not a chief, just, we're all very close friends. We've gotten very close over the past couple months. So, , , feeling like I could be a support to them as well, but not being there physically, that's a little different. So, just this wanting, again, to be kind of in two places at once.

[00:18:35] Dr. Singh: It sounds like there's this desire to want to navigate the challenges that you're in preparing for when you go back to work as well, wanting to support your colleagues and this very real experience you're having right now. First, there was sleep deprivation with starting residency, and now there's sleep deprivation and a whole new light in terms of becoming a new mom.

[00:18:56] And if you were to describe your overall health and wellbeing right now, how would you describe it?

[00:19:05] Dr. Mary: The term oscillating kind of came to mind, just a little up and down and up and down. , Baseline is lower than normal, I would say, but then the highs are, you know, higher. So it is shifting day to day, I would say still. Generally better though, I would say the first few weeks. I do not anticipate breastfeeding be being as hard as it really is, which gives me a lot of empathy to all women, period. But, especially those who try to strictly breastfeed. And the first few weeks, I felt like I was just on the couch breastfeeding him all day. And the day again, you know, the next day. And my husband trying to support me as much as I can, but him having final exams and trying to also study and help take care of OJ and help us sleep, but me knowing that he needs to sleep so he can do well in this exam the next day.

[00:20:08] So the first few weeks were hard. I would say this week is definitely better having him around more and having that balance. , So, yes, but still, I mean, every day is still a new challenge with him, just in summary. I'm just kind of rambling a bit, but it's just from day to day. We're on an uptrend, but it's still, I would say, in terms of mental, emotional health it started out, I would say, a little lower because of the shock of everything.

[00:20:43] Dr. Singh: When you talk about the time when your husband was home this week or having that support, and you had mentioned again how you and your co residents have become close, just out of friendship and comradery and having those feelings towards each other, how would you describe the support systems you have in place for yourself right now?

[00:21:04] Dr. Mary: Honestly, remarkably good, even though all my family is out of state, and so is my husband's family. So we are family less, technically, where we live. But we're very blessed that I went to medical school nearby, so we've established roots there. And I had several of my friends from medical school, a few which are still in medical school, come by, make meals for us, offer to clean.

[00:21:33] Actually, two of our good friends who are living together, they came by last night and babysat for us. They were the first babysitters we've ever had. That was amazing. A dinner out for my husband's birthday. , and then my co interns, like I said, we're all, we all got very close very quickly and everyone's planning on doing a meal train like once I go back to work, then they're going to start making those for us then. And people came to my baby shower. , and then very blessed that my church nearby, they threw me like a second baby shower and have made us a bunch of meals and they're always checking in on us when we see them at church.

[00:22:16] So, support system, I really could not ask for anything better here. And my family has come down right after he was born. My mom came down and so did my dad and siblings. And then my lovely husband, again, being the pillar of all the support systems. Truly, I couldn't ask for anything better.

[00:22:35] Dr. Singh: Thinking about everything that we've just gone over even just in this conversation so far, what would you feel like would need to be addressed in order for you to feel like you've been able to achieve more of that? Either work life balance or be able to embody the values that you hold near and dear to your heart as you go through everyday life? 

[00:22:58] Dr. Mary: Mm hmm. Time...time management, like I'm not sure The word time just comes to mind as in that's the major problem in my mind, you know having desire to be essentially home full time with my baby. Although ultimately I know I I didn't want that. You know, if I had wanted to be a full time mom forever, then I wouldn't have to do medical school and then becoming a physician. But in my heart right now, it feels hard to not be full time mom when that's all I've known how to be as a mom for the past five weeks is full time mom. I don't have a concept of what it's like to be elsewhere than with my baby, essentially. So. feeling like I want to be a full time mom and then to be a full time doctor and having the desire to go back and, keep learning, to help out my co interns, to practice medicine, because it honestly still miraculously is like a desire of mine to be working in the hospital, , and in clinics and going to my clinic with my continuity patients and checking in on them. So I'm not sure, but somehow reconciling, I suppose, feeling that I have enough time in both of those worlds.

[00:24:34] Dr. Singh: So really, it sounds like you value both your role as a mother, your role as a physician, and having the time for both sounds very important to 

[00:24:46] Dr. Mary: you.

[00:24:47] Yeah. 

[00:24:48] And feeling like I'm adequately giving each of those roles. the time that it deserves.

[00:24:55] Dr. Singh: If you were to give each of those roles the time that they deserve, what would that look like to you? 

[00:25:04] Dr. Mary: In this moment, I guess a lovely 9 to 5 doesn't sound too bad when I think about the schedule that I'm going back to, which is like a 13 hour, like 5am to, you know, essentially 6pm hospital day. So yeah, I mean, and that won't be forever. But it's just, you know, portions of residency, primarily intern year. I think most programs have a heavy inpatient medicine load for family medicine programs, at least for the first year.

[00:25:42] You know, having a healthy amount of time in the evening with my family, my son isn't going to forget that I'm his mother essentially and having weekends. I guess I'm trying to think of like a literal schedule. but again, I don't, you know, hard to know what I want until I've flipped back to the other world of medicine and to really feel the deficit of not being home, and not being with my family and then find the balance in between.

[00:26:17] So in theory, a beautiful nine to five, I don't know.

[00:26:20] Dr. Singh: It sounds like you are keeping the big picture in mind about the residency schedule being temporary. The possibility of having that work life balance, maybe after residency, if not during residency, 

[00:26:33] Dr. Mary: right? Yeah. And that's very much, I think, what my husband tries to remind me when we're both thinking about, oh, my gosh, residency schedule is going to be rough, but that it's temporary.

[00:26:50] And that intern year, especially is going to be the hardest, but I mean, family medicine residencies are three years. , an investment in my knowledge base and education and a way that I can be helpful to others and have like a fulfilling service oriented career and who knows what schedule I will choose after residency, but there will be more autonomy.

[00:27:18] Dr. Singh: So hopefully, it sounds like while you're grounded in the present moment, there seems to be a lot of thought based on what the situation will be in the future as well. 

[00:27:32] Dr. Mary: Yeah, which I guess is a good coping mechanism, I think, to focus on what you can control, not what you cannot, which is very much, a schedule that is determined for you in residency and trying to just make the best of that and, the best of time that you have off when you're home and then trying to be invested in the time that you have when you're in the hospital or in the clinic.

[00:28:00] Easier said than done because I find I, I predict that it will be difficult to be mindful and present when I am at work. And then, , I just think it's going to be difficult as well to flip the switch when I'm home and not to check the charts of my patients are like, check the list to see how many admissions we had overnight.

[00:28:25] You know how it goes. , Yeah, I don't typically have that horrible, , habit of talking the list all the time, like some of my co residents do at night. But in general, just trying to turn your brain off in the evenings and be present with the family and then be focused when you're at work. I'm predicting that that'll be a challenge. 

[00:28:49] Dr. Singh: So it sounds like you appreciate the value of that of being present, but the reality of the situation sometimes it's hard to do so right now. 

[00:28:57] Dr. Mary: Yeah, definitely, which I think is a part of having a tendency towards anxiety is that then I'm worrying about things that I'm not in control over that I'm not there, , so I'm worrying about. X, Y, and Z of the hospital. Oh, did I do this thing right? Or, worrying about my family and maybe a daycare or something, or, all of the above.

[00:29:18] Dr. Singh: I know you had also mentioned at the beginning, since obviously this is your first experience with coaching and kind of just wondering how it goes. And so I know with these thoughts, emotions, and with all the other things that we have discussed so far today, one of the beautiful parts about coaching is figuring out with these situations, we're talking about what the state is now, ideally what you'd like it to be. And in your words, like you had said, focusing on what you can control and almost accept that you can't. And so one of the things I'd like to ask you is just how willing do you feel like you're willing to think about these things that you may be able to explore and see how coaching might be supportive to you? Because it's so different right than other interactions. In medical school and residency, you go through being told what to do. And in coaching, it's just like, wait a second, going to use my own wisdom and I'm going to use my own resources to figure out how to do this.

[00:30:13] And so I'm kind of wondering after everything that you've shared with me, how that is resonating for you right now? 

[00:30:20] Dr. Mary: I feel eager to certainly personally continue coaching. I kind of, like I said, in the beginning, I fear that I don't have the wisdom in me to find I'm sure there's not an answer that is the clear, this is how to have a good balance when returning to residency.

[00:30:44] This is how to do it. X, Y, and Z is a plan, blah, blah, blah. You know, If that was the case I feel like it would be broadcasted everywhere online, at least on the Reddit channels, whatever, you know, Reddit threads. But I am excited to explore if anything, just to use the experience to sift my own thoughts out.

[00:31:03] I feel like that is very much part of where a lot of people and where my brain can spiral is when I am just allowing myself to get caught in the fear thoughts of this is inevitable, or I'm going to scar my child because I'm not gonna be here, or I'm gonna be a failure as a physician because I'm gonna be distracted and trying to pump, , throughout the day, like, all of these variable, like, factors. , but ultimately, like, I, I agree with the philosophy, like, I think, truly, we all know the answer, the balance within us, you know, it's just listening to our intuition and listening to what ultimately, you we know is the answer for us to find balance now. And that might not be the case a year later or even a month later, you know. We'll explore it together and see where it ends up, I suppose. 

[00:32:03] Dr. Singh: Obviously you've gone through so much learning and education to get to where you are. And even though this is like a learning from the school of life, well, I mean, you learn so much just doing it, right? In residency, you learn so much just doing it.

[00:32:16] And so, , through our time together and just through as you think about your own personal support, self care, personal development, professional development, what are the ways that these cognitive shifts tend to happen for you, or this learning happens to you in a way that you value and that aligns with you?

[00:32:36] Dr. Mary: Um, It's a question more so, like, how do I learn in theory, or is it more like how life learning? How do I prefer to life learn, I suppose? 

[00:32:48] Dr. Singh: Yeah, or, yeah, either one of the, however you'd like to take it. I basically just, What do you find has been either the most valuable in terms of learning or support for you in, in terms of, shifting to new perspectives or broadening perspective or just considering other ways of thinking or being, and also there's no guarantee in anything, right?

[00:33:09] I'm not going to sit here and guarantee that there's going to be this magic wand and all these problems will be solved. Like you mentioned, if that was possible, it would be broadcasted everywhere. 

[00:33:18] Dr. Mary: Yeah. Right, right, right. I find a lot of, I guess, knowledge and comfort in learning from other people's stories.

[00:33:29] So in, in reading, I'm honestly looking into buying a book by a woman physician about like her blog that she had where she grouped in a bunch of mother physicians together and then they all share their stories and then she wrote a book about it. So I'm looking forward to reading that, getting some insight from other people who have walked similar paths, , because it's, it's easy, I think, to feel alone in a situation like this. And I'm grateful that my residency also has multiple other female physicians who have had babies in our residency program. So they've walked the path as well. So I can, certainly I should use them more as a resource for. learning and navigating this process and how to find balance in my own way based on their own experiences, too.

[00:34:19] So, the experiences of others, I feel like, is a very helpful tool for me to learn. And then also just sifting out my thoughts, kind of like we're talking right now and finding some cohesive train of thought in my rambling to kind of sift out my worries, and getting over my fears, and focusing on what really is the core of my problem, the core of my worry, and then addressing that and not being afraid to address it.

[00:34:49] Dr. Singh: What stood out to you most from this conversation today?

[00:34:54] Dr. Mary: I think how simple my fear is, ultimately. Like, it can be stated that I'm seeking help in figuring out how to be a mother and a doctor at the same time, and what that will look like going back immediately onto my busy inpatient service when I have a baby versus 10 years from now is going to look very different I'm sure. , I mean, the question is simple. How to do these two roles at the same time? The answer I'm sure is extremely complicated. But hearing myself finally say it in this jumble of thoughts of worrying, like, how do I do X, Y, and Z? How do I sleep with a baby and then work the next day? How do I breastfeed him and then pump at work and make that work?

[00:35:42] And then, , all the fear around not having enough breast milk supply and all that stuff. How do I study and learn and not make a fool of myself when I'm presenting to my attendings because of fatigue and you know all these various hows and I don't know what it's going to look like but ultimately it's just my fear is how do I balance both worlds and it's not like anyone I think has a clear easy this is the way to do it but just I will Find my own way and through some, opportunities, I guess.

[00:36:20] I don't know, some thoughts to get to a more confident me prior to the transition. 

[00:36:27] Dr. Singh: And I'm hearing a lot of hope and even confidence when you said I will find my own way.

[00:36:32] Dr. Mary: And I feel like that is a different feeling than what I had at the beginning of the session. Appreciate that. Thank you. 

[00:36:43] Dr. Singh: May I ask just to bring it in full circle. Do you feel that feeling anywhere in your body? 

[00:36:50] Dr. Mary: Yeah, that's an interesting question. Kind of my chest, I guess I'd say feeling a little lighter on my shoulders is quite literally what it feels like, I guess.

[00:37:00] Dr. Singh: Yeah. And so I know, obviously with residency schedules get busy, so if you like, you can continue to meet and to coach as your schedule allows it. And so, between now and next time, what do you think would be most useful for you?

[00:37:19] Dr. Mary: Probably, journaling, I feel like would be a good way to continue to help me do some self talk and reflect and get through the feelings, not necessarily like find an answer to the whole dilemma and balance, but journaling, as well as getting that book that I mentioned that is focused on women being physicians and mothers at the same time and getting some insights from that.

[00:37:47] And maybe reaching out more to my co residents, kind of like I talked about who's already had babies and any specific questions that I have. I've already asked, questions about, like, schedules with breast pumping and all those things, but any other questions that I have reaching out to my resources and not being afraid to use those.

[00:38:10] Dr. Singh: And how do you envision staying accountable to yourself? 

[00:38:15] Dr. Mary: Well, I will tell my husband my plan. Hey, we're going to get this book and I'm going to journal maybe at least once, maybe more, but I'll say at least once for now. I don't ever commit myself to, fulfilling that commitment.

[00:38:32] But yeah, I'll tell my husband. 

[00:38:35] Dr. Singh: Sure. And is there a time that you'd like to set the amount of journaling time for, even though it's just once, maybe between now and next time, would you like to set a time goal for yourself? Like, even if it's just five minutes? 

[00:38:46] Dr. Mary: Yeah, five minutes. And we'll say a goal of journaling on Sunday, because that's traditionally, I think, when I've journaled the most previously.

[00:38:55] That's a good midway point, I suppose. 

[00:38:58] Dr. Singh: Sure. And then you have mentioned about getting that book and reaching out to your colleagues. Sure. May I ask you, also between now and the next time. So obviously we had just uncovered a lot in the session. You had talked about how so beautifully, so simply said at the end, how I didn't realize my question was, how do I be a mom and a physician at the same time?

[00:39:18] And so, for our next session, if something comes up, obviously, it's for you to explore whatever is most urgent, but if you'd like to prepare by thinking about, in reflection of our conversation today, whether it's the time management, just some examples or, having that time, that sleep is important, whichever one of these areas you feel is important, whether or not they were mentioned today, if you'd like, we can take a deep dive and really 

[00:39:44] today was our first session together, so we really did a holistic picture. And so we can continue doing a holistic discussion next time if you'd like. And we can also start to explore a topic more deeply. And so if you'd like to think of what area you'd like to explore in, then we can also do that next time.

[00:40:02] Dr. Mary: I'll think on it. Thank you. 

[00:40:04] Dr. Singh: Sure. And is there a way you'd like to check in? if it's okay? I'm happy to check in with you by email and see how you're doing between now and next time, if you would find something like that valuable. 

[00:40:15] Dr. Mary: Yeah, sure. Email or text, either is perfect. 

[00:40:19] Dr. Singh: Sure, and I know you have a lot of resources already or it sounds like you have that book you're getting, your colleagues. If any resources that I come across Would I have permission to share them with you? 

[00:40:31] Dr. Mary: Oh, yeah, definitely. It'd be great. 

[00:40:33] Dr. Singh: All right , do you have anything else coming to you before we close today?

[00:40:41] Dr. Mary: No, I don't think so. I think there's lots of layers to unpack with this very loaded subject. But right now, I feel good. 

[00:40:51] Dr. Singh: Okay. Well, thank you so much. And it was a privilege spending this time with you. 

[00:40:57] Dr. Mary: Thank you. Appreciate it.

[00:40:58] Dr. Singh: Thank you for listening to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to making coaching more accessible and to support both physicians and those who coach them. Subscribe to access exclusive subscriber only episodes, including physician coaching sessions, coaching debriefs, and coach mentoring sessions that offer valuable insights for professional development for coaches.

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