[00:00:00] Dr. Jessica Singh: Welcome to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Jessica Singh. This podcast explores physician health, wellbeing, and fulfillment, embracing all aspects of the human experience. Just as in medicine where a single interaction can transform a life, this podcast is grounded on the belief that each coaching conversation has the power to inspire, heal, and bring about meaningful change.

[00:00:36] Today I have the privilege of coaching Mary, who is a family medicine resident in her first year of residency in the United States. This is our second coaching session together. Our previous coaching session was about days ago. Mary, how are you doing today?

[00:00:53] Dr. Mary: Doing well. , thanks for having me again, Jessica. I'm doing better and a little more awake than last time, I think.

[00:01:00] Dr. Jessica Singh: Can you tell me more?

[00:01:02] Dr. Mary: Yes. so we're getting towards the age for my infant where he's starting to sleep a little more. So I'm getting a three hour stretch here and there and out, which is good. , but yeah, just overall, I feel a little lighter today than I did last time for whatever reason.

[00:01:22] Dr. Jessica Singh: Thank you for sharing. What's coming up for you today?

[00:01:28] Dr. Mary: Well, over the past 19 days, I've been thinking more about what we talked about last time and the theme of using my support system has come to my mind several times using my resources. So I feel good about where I'm at in terms of utilizing the people around me. I mean, we've been through the holidays now and we're approaching the new year, which can be very hectic and it has been, but in a good way having family here.

[00:01:55] And so it's been, I think a nice change of pace for me mentally to be asking for help more having family nearby. But especially I had a pretty rough day. I can't even remember it was not too long after we had our first session. And I'm an open book, so I have pretty much some like mild baseline anxiety.

[00:02:19] Like I feel probably half the population identifies with, and had a day where I was really struggling with the anxiety of breast pumping and the thought of, you know, , having to do that at work all day and having enough for my infant as well as just overall having a lot of frustration with pumping.

[00:02:43] And I don't have to go into all the hooblah and all the technicalities that go into it and just dealing with all the parts and, just honestly, not enjoying the experience at all. Just wishing that I could have my child breastfeed all day, every day, but knowing that again, it's not compatible with the two worlds of, you know, being in work all day and then wanting to be home with my kid.

[00:03:07] And so after that anxiety meltdown, my husband was extremely helpful and supportive, but it kind of clicked in my brain that I have more than just my own, like inner will, you know, I can reach out to even healthcare professionals, which is duh. I mean, I am a healthcare professional. I tell people all the time to you know, reach out and talk to me, in the medicine position or talk to other providers that they're close with. So I reached out to my own OB Gyn and actually, and also reached out actually to, um it's a Facebook group called Dr. Milk and it's a really, really popular women physician mother Facebook group. And it's all about the woes and the good of breastfeeding as a physician mom and breast pumping and all that.

[00:03:55] So I reached out both to my OB and to that Facebook group just with some of the symptoms that I was experiencing. It got a lot of really good feedback and support that I'm not crazy and I'm not overreacting and those frustrations and even just like the weird icky sensations that I don't like with breast pumping, it's not just me, and that gave me a lot of relief. And so it's been a...I've been reflecting a lot on that experience since over the past week or so. And realizing that I need to use my resources more ultimately.

[00:04:29] Dr. Jessica Singh: As you reflect on that experience, being able to reach out to your professional community in this way, what did that bring to you? I know you felt you had mentioned that you had like felt light at the beginning of our conversation and then you felt like you weren't alone. How did you feel that reaching out and having that support impacted you?

[00:04:52] Dr. Mary: Honestly, I was kind of nervous, even just to make an appointment with my OB, let alone messaging on a Facebook group, , which still feels relatively anonymous, even though you have your name and your picture associated with it. But for my experience, reaching out to my OB, I almost had the fear or the anxiety, I guess that my problem isn't important enough to bring to a healthcare professional, which again is just ironic and it's not the case, and it isn't a small thing. Even, you know, anxiety itself, no matter the context, isn't a small thing, but certainly something like postpartum anxiety or anxiety around breastfeeding or pumping isn't a small thing, but it was, that was the main inhibitory thought that I had about myself that, , this isn't worthwhile to bother with another doctor's time, or, there's, I should know the answer already, you know, multiple different thoughts like that, being a training physician and using Dr. Google and my own, my own resources thinking I should just be able to solve this on my own, which is more of, I think, an innate personality trait of myself as well, is that I like to just try to solve it on my own.

[00:06:01] So there was a bit of pride there, I think. But I got over that and then just reached out to my OB and she even called me herself, because she's a sweetheart, and we talked about some ideas and made a plan. And then I had a lot of fear about even just posting on this Dr. Milk Facebook page, which if anyone is listening is familiar, there's, like, over, I think, 50, 000 people who are physicians on this Facebook group. And it's screened, so that everyone is a physician, everyone has an NPI, so you know it's a trusted space at least. And women are really, really vulnerable and share difficulties that they're having with breastfeeding and pumping, or even just going back to work and having a child.

[00:06:44] But I still was again, anxious that what I'm experiencing is somehow unique and I'm the only one, or I'm being overdramatic. Or again, other physician women would think like, why are you asking? You should have answers for yourself because you're a doctor.

[00:07:02] I don't know. Some of those were obviously like irrational. , but again, I got over that and then I got a lot of really good feedback. People who were experiencing specific types of anxiety, but really very relatable experiences to just like some of the negative thoughts that I've been having with pumping. So gave me a lot of relief. Like anyone, when you think you're alone and then you find out you're not, that's a huge relief.

[00:07:30] Dr. Jessica Singh: As you think about the current state of where you are, with respect to, I know last time also balance was a big thing, right? Balance between work personal life, and even what you're talking about now, this balance of having so much that obviously is showing up emotionally in terms of anxiety and wanting to share and bridging that how do you feel that that sharing that you were able to do in this sense has aligned with your values?

[00:07:59] Dr. Mary: Interesting question. I pride myself in saying that I am very open, but I think when it comes to really, leaning on others or like using your tribe, I often get fearful of sharing myself, you know, true vulnerability. , but being, I guess, honesty is the value of mine that, I need to be honest with myself, that I need to reach out to others, need to be honest to the tribe around me when I need help.

[00:08:29] So yeah, I guess it was really a matter of allowing myself to be imperfect. Not sure how to put that into words of my value system, but, maybe just getting rid of this obsession of mine to be perfect or have the presentation of being perfect, , and being personable and, open with others

[00:08:56] Dr. Jessica Singh: If you are able to do that, to achieve this ideal state of letting go of being perfect, how do you feel like that would show up in your life, especially now as you're navigating this transition of the end of your maternity leave, right, and going back to work?

[00:09:14] jessica_2_12-30-2024_184929: I 

[00:09:15] Dr. Mary: feel maybe outwardly, I wouldn't change it as much, , but definitely inwardly, I would have a lot more kind self talk. If and hopefully I can really start to get over this, obsession of needing to do it all or do it myself or do it well the first time, and do it practically perfect, which is, I don't know, ironic because I feel like on the outside and with my peers with my friends, I, everyone, , for the most part characterizes me as chill and optimistic and calm and put together. And I, I mean, I don't believe that but that's at least the presentation sometimes that comes off I suppose. But, not being afraid of, again, showing my vulnerability to others, being okay. Probably having a meltdown or two the first week at work, and then not hiding that entirely like I know I have a tendency that I will try to do like, just, you know, having cry eyes from I don't know, maybe I'm crying at work or something, but in the bathroom, and then I just go out and see my friends who I'm working with, because luckily on our inpatient service we're a team and we all sit together in the same room and sit around the same table.

[00:10:36] So not hiding that. Not hiding my vulnerabilities. Not hiding when I have meltdowns and giving myself grace in the space to do that, rather than gritting my teeth and getting upset the moment that I crack a little bit, you know?

[00:10:54] Dr. Jessica Singh: Giving yourself grace. And so I know last time was our first session together, and today it sounds like you have already started reaching out to your support system and been reflecting a lot after our first session. We have about a little more than half hour left together. What do you think would be most useful to you in this session?

[00:11:23] Dr. Mary: Maybe trying to maintain the bit of optimism that I have right now, I suppose. Especially as I'm getting closer to my start date. Not spiraling, because I, I feel, you know, as sleep deprivation causes that my emotions are a little more frail. And so, although I feel good right now, and I have had more confident, good, it's going to be okay type days, leading up to returning to work, I can see myself also having a big spiral down again like I had a bit ago. I'm getting very, very anxious. I'm just focusing on what optimism I have now, what can be good and not letting my worries just drown out all of this and let this productivity and, you know, the good that I feel right now, spiral out, I suppose.

[00:12:32] Dr. Jessica Singh: How soon is it before you return back to work?

[00:12:36] Dr. Mary: A week from today. We got one week.

[00:12:41] Dr. Jessica Singh: So what i'm hearing is that you'd like to try to find a way to maintain that optimism and to maybe I also hear some acknowledgment that some spiraling may happen, but you'd like to maintain the optimism.

[00:12:57] Dr. Mary: Right. Yeah, definitely. I, I guarantee you some spiraling will happen if anything, just the morning of or the night before. Kind of like the stress you get before your first day of school when you're a kid, or of course a first day of work or something. But allowing that to be okay and still remembering the other many women physicians who have experienced the same thing and have gone through that hard first day after maternity leave.

[00:13:28] Dr. Jessica Singh: What would you feel would be a successful outcome of our time together? How would you know this coaching session was beneficial to you?

[00:13:36] Dr. Mary: Well, leaving the session with a feeling of optimism, I think. I know this isn't counseling, but maybe just putting into words an action plan, I suppose, with my negative thoughts and the potential of spiraling, , that I could pull out of my pocket when I need in the moment, I suppose.

[00:14:00] Yeah.

[00:14:02] Dr. Jessica Singh: May ask you just a clarifying question with that? I know you had made a reference to say, I know this isn't counseling, but you'd like to have an action plan. I may ask what made you think about counseling or wonder if it was appropriate for coaching? Just so I can understand and help clarify.

[00:14:19] Dr. Mary: Yeah. I think being more familiar with counseling than coaching, cause I've had some counseling, not a lot, but some primarily related to anxiety. I felt very much like the philosophy or what helped me was creating a type of action plan. Especially with thoughts, I think. Like, you have a thought, trying to take a step back.

[00:14:45] Is it rational? Where is it coming from? And then is it something that's positive, contributing, or is it from a fear side of your mind? Things like that.

[00:14:55] Dr. Jessica Singh: Thank you for clarifying. It's really helpful. And so with coaching, yes, we focus together on goals and action plans, and that's great. One of the differences between counseling and coaching is I'm obviously not here to analyze, try to fix, or advise. And so in terms of, judging, even if it's positive judgment, it comes from within you.

[00:15:19] I'm not going to tell you of something because that's not my place. This is for you to self discover. And sometimes it gets to the point where people come to coaching and maybe they have anxiety or maybe they need a counselor to go and get additional mental health support. And usually when that happens is when someone's experiencing symptoms or something that are actually interfering with someone's ability to function or causing pathology is real distress.

[00:15:46] And so if someone needs that kind of support, then absolutely counseling or going to a therapist, mental health professional is definitely needed, but within the realm of what you're discussing, wanting to pull out the positive action plan and figure out how to ground yourself in this optimism or whatever it is, it's perfectly within the realms of coaching. So may I ask you optimism, can you tell me a little bit more about why that's coming about? What about optimism is coming for you? 

[00:16:16] Of all the words you could have chosen, what about optimism aligns with you? 

[00:16:20] Dr. Mary: I feel like optimism in my mind is the antidote to an anxious fear focused mind because it's both forward thinking but my brain when I'm anxious, when I'm stressed, when I'm worried is, I'm always, I'm very much a planner and I'm very much a forward thinker, but then the anxiety will take that train of thought towards the fear mind ,towards worry, planning all the bad things that can happen. Like my milk supply is going to drop drastically. I'm going to spiral and cry at work. I'm going to not finish my notes in time because I'm trying to pump and I'm struggling with machinery and cleaning parts. Blah blah blah, I spill milk, you know, whatever, you name it. All these things that can happen you can try to plan for, but ultimately what's that helping? Thinking and worrying constantly it's, it's much of the, the spiraling, I guess, that I describe as the circular thinking of worrying. And then other bad things that could happen. And then you'd go down this rabbit hole of, but optimism or just positive forward thinking, I suppose is how I describe it. I feel is the antidote where instead of allowing my mind to worry. and think of the worst things that could happen. Trying to think of the good that is now or that can be and that it can be okay. And even if it isn't going to be okay, it's not end of the world. Optimism, you know, there's other good things that are still happening and hey, at least you're trying to pump and trying to get some breast milk, even if it's only like an ounce that you can supply your child a day, you know, whatever, like the mantras, any amount of breast milk helps.

[00:18:07] So things like that, I suppose.

[00:18:11] Dr. Jessica Singh: It sounds like a part of this optimism is a little bit of embracing or accepting the imperfect and accepting things as they are.

[00:18:23] Dr. Mary: Definitely, yeah.

[00:18:26] Dr. Jessica Singh: In the past, if you've had spiraling before or anything, how have you grounded yourself in optimism? How have you been able to anchor in your strengths?

[00:18:35] Dr. Mary: One thing, and you use the word grounding, which is what I think is the healthiest and best and most effective for me, is to take my thoughts out of the future and try to breathe and ground myself and remember I'm alive where I am, , focus on my breathing, try to ground myself. It's, um, more natural for me to do that because it's very aligned with yoga.

[00:19:02] And, , that's a part of my life is, or has been doing daily yoga. It hasn't been lately, but doing daily yoga and trying to incorporate some type of meditation and grounding in there. Or even driving in the car when I'm feeling stressed, I would turn to my breath and try to focus in the present, not in the future, , and remembering good things, I suppose. The optimistic perspective as well, that I'm okay. I'm doing what I can. I'm alive right now. Look at the birds outside or I'm in my car trying to be in my body and not in my mind is very much how it helps me to stop the spiral, to ground myself that way, especially with my breath.

[00:19:53] Dr. Jessica Singh: As you literally and figuratively ground yourself in your breath, and it sounds like that impacts you, like you said, not only physically, but emotionally, mentally, by bringing your focus out of your mind and back to you, I know that you had mentioned that maybe you haven't had time to do yoga every day.

[00:20:12] Have you found yourself grounding in your breathing?

[00:20:18] Dr. Mary: I have not. And, for, I don't know if the podcasters listening need to know, but Jessica started our session before we started with grounding and that helped me so much. And I'm, you know, just the few minutes that we spent doing that, reminded me how much of a benefit I would get out of my meditation, however simple and short that would be in grounding and having that practice even throughout the day that I would do a, like I said, trying to get out of my mind and into my body and using my breath to do that. Throughout med school even, or early on, I guess in residency, but I have let that go to the wayside for sure over the past three months being busy during pregnancy.

[00:21:11] Dr. Jessica Singh: So it sounds like even though you've been busy and maybe have let it go to the wayside, you still recognized the impact it has on you, even just for a brief amount of time.

[00:21:23] Dr. Mary: Definitely. Definitely. I've gotten previously a lot of benefit from even just a few minutes when I'm before a test. In medical school, I would do this, like just go to the bathroom, honestly, and get that quiet space before an exam. You know, the stress, the fear mind and the room where everyone's about to take an exam and everyone's worrying and some people are trying to talk and study together really quickly before we start an exam.

[00:21:51] And all of that is a great way to make my mind spiral. So I'll leave for the bathroom and then a few moments and do breathing mindfulness grounding, you know, moments like that. So I have had the habits. I have certainly gone out of the habit. Need to get back in.

[00:22:15] Dr. Jessica Singh: Do you think that in your phrasing, integrating the moments, and not necessarily the hours or the half hours, just the moments, right? Like you mentioned the moments. Do you feel like in your life you might be able to reintroduce or that you'd even want to reintroduce those moments of mindfulness, those moments of breath?

[00:22:34] Dr. Mary: Definitely. Yeah, I feel like that would be a great way to stop a spiral, especially during a busy workday, running around to the hospital and in particular, the busy service that I'll be starting when I go back.

[00:22:51] Dr. Jessica Singh: How do you see yourself if you're able to stop these spirals?

[00:22:58] Dr. Mary: How do I see myself if I'm able to stop the spirals

[00:23:01] Dr. Jessica Singh: or when, if, or when, whichever 

[00:23:03] you'd to do. Yes. How would you see yourself when you're able to stop these spirals?

[00:23:10] Dr. Mary: Um, healthy. I would see myself as coping, as in control and not fearful. I definitely see myself in anxious spiral moments. I don't know, just like a cloud of worry truly like a cartoon with like this gray fuzzy cloud. And I'm just like an ambiguous body. And I'm just starting to lose time because I'm just sitting there staying into space worrying, you know, I feel like that really is a good visual for a spiral if I had to pick one.

[00:23:53] Dr. Jessica Singh: Using that visual of the cloud as a spiral, what would your visual be for the breath?

[00:24:05] Dr. Mary: Blue, peaceful, still, just me with a smile on my face and not a frown.

[00:24:17] Dr. Jessica Singh: How do you think you might be able to evoke this blue, calm, with a smile, the breath? How do you think you might be able to evoke this knowledge to ground yourself in the breath in those moments of spiraling?

[00:24:34] Dr. Mary: Well, I think just talking about it now will help me to remember it in the moment when I feel like I'm losing control and getting lost in anxiety. Just remembering using it as a tool and not forgetting that, you know, I've done this before and this can work and I just need to use it in my toolkit and then I can allow my brain for 10 seconds, before I go to the pump room or while I'm pumping or something or when I'm writing notes, and I'm stressed, and I know I need to finish notes, and I don't want to type over all my pump parts, and just stressed about all the, the, the complexity of trying to do inpatient medicine, and try to, you know, feed my baby from afar. Just reminding myself to use that toolkit that I've used before.

[00:25:37] Dr. Jessica Singh: So, having this conversation be a spark for it. You're visualizing yourself as you're talking, just describing your actions and finishing your charts while pumping and cleaning parts and still anchoring into the breath.

[00:25:50] I know you said you go back to work in a week. When do you think you'd like to start this grounding practice with your breath? 

[00:26:00] Dr. Mary: Now. You know, as we did before the session started, just keep that going and use that to keep myself in a good headspace and keep the optimism going, like we've been talking about. So I guess if I had to pick specific, smart to goal style, probably, , before I go to bed, before I wake up, that's a good habitual time, I think.

[00:26:27] Usually where my head is the clearest, too. But then, maybe increasing that and trying to remember when I'm getting spiral thoughts to try it as well in between the day.

[00:26:37] Dr. Jessica Singh: So at least to try it twice, it sounds like. Right in the morning and in the evening and then as you can as it's possible during the day.

[00:26:46] Dr. Mary: Yeah, I think that would be great.

[00:26:48] Dr. Jessica Singh: Does this is something you'd like to try every day or just a few days of the week to begin with?

[00:26:54] Dr. Mary: Let's try it every day!

[00:26:58] Dr. Jessica Singh: And how would you hold yourself accountable to this?

[00:27:04] Dr. Mary: Well, as always, tell my husband. Even if he'll forget, too. At least I've told someone. And then certainly we can talk about it with the next session. And I think that might be good for now, unless you have any other ideas.

[00:27:23] Dr. Jessica Singh: I guess, one of the things that was coming to me, so with your objectives for the session and wanting to figure out an action plan, you know, you something you could pull out of your pocket, right, to, to keep that optimism. What else do you think would need to be addressed? So we talked about this very powerful method for you of grounding in the breath.

[00:27:42] Is anything else coming to mind for you?

[00:27:45] Dr. Mary: Hmm. Well, along with how, using my resources, the past two weeks has really helped me and opening up to people and, finding other for leading. , none of my co interns will necessarily have experience or any of the residents that I'll be working with have kids. One does, but he's a male, so he doesn't have any experience with pumping.

[00:28:14] But just opening up to my co interns, I'll have one close friend in particular who will be with me on the inpatient service when I go back. So I think it would be important for me especially to open up to her. Just, you know, this is specifically the kind of anxiety that, , I'm going to be dealing with.

[00:28:34] A lot of stress around pumping and letting her know so that I don't feel, I guess, more alone in the situation, but using her and just having someone to know, I think would help.

[00:28:54] Dr. Jessica Singh: So, really, leaning into your support system, and it sounds like even building what that support system would look like to you.

[00:29:01] Dr. Mary: Yeah, yeah. Being more open and yeah, especially with my close friends already, because I don't think I've told anyone besides my husband, besides my OB, and besides really the Dr. Milk Facebook group and then kind of sort of my mom, but not entirely. I haven't really told anyone about this. So,

[00:29:21] Dr. Jessica Singh: Do you feel like the other family members you mentioned, your mom, your husband's there, and even your OB GYN and this Dr. Milk Facebook group, do you feel like those resources are part of your support system now as well that you'd like to continue building and leading into?

[00:29:37] Dr. Mary: Yeah, definitely. Touching base with my OB, she's wonderful and, maybe she's giving me a little bit of special treatment because I am a resident, but, touching base back with her, as returning to work may or may not spike some more anxiety. Then certainly, maybe reposting the Dr. Milk group if needed, or even just reading off and on people's testimonials. That's the thing I've done. I like two in the morning when I am feeding or pumping to keep myself awake is that's the first thing on my Facebook that pops up and I don't really use Facebook otherwise at all, honestly, I'll just, I've been using it for resources like that. So yeah, definitely will continue to keep leaning into things that have already helped me.

[00:30:28] Dr. Jessica Singh: So it sounds like the optimism is also coming from the inspiration from the people around you or that you have access to in one way or another.

[00:30:37] Dr. Mary: Yeah, definitely, really helpful. I don't really social media much. So I didn't think that the Dr. Milk Facebook group are really too much for me. But as right now, I'm the only person in my friend group who has a kid and is going through this experience right now. You know, it's important just to still have those people with similarities.

[00:31:04] And there are some PGY2s and PGY3 interns, obviously not interns, residents that I could reach out to. I've talked to one already a bit about having a kid, maternity leave questions, because she's been through it about six months ago, she was on maternity leave. So reaching out to those other residents as well.

[00:31:30] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I ask you, so as you see yourself now in a week, just going back to work and wanting to have this action plan to embrace this optimism to help support you, we discussed grounding in the breath and the support system. Can you describe what you had used the word grace before, what it would look like for you to return back to work having that grace and having that optimism? How do you see yourself using your action plan or something else coming up that maybe we haven't discussed yet?

[00:32:06] Dr. Mary: That's a hard but really important question, or at least hard, I think, for me to actually give myself grace. But part of it, I think, will be me letting my expectations of what needs to happen when I go back to work to be kinder to myself. I don't want to say lower my expectations of myself because that doesn't sound great in my mind, but that really honestly is I think what it is, or just changing my expectations.

[00:32:41] Maybe maybe pivoting it a little. As in, I don't have to be the smartest resident in the room. You know, I don't have to answer every question for my attendings correctly, which I've never done anyway, but you know, I still have that expectation of myself. And then when I don't know something, I'm like, ah, how can I not know the mechanism of action and the obscure drug that I forgot about and haven't heard since then too. So maybe being honest with myself before going back and maybe even writing down my journal, because we've mentioned journaling last time as well. What are healthy expectations of myself going back to work? Not that I really know quite yet, but definitely perfection is not 1 of them.

[00:33:30] Dr. Jessica Singh: Do you feel like journaling this would be helpful to you?

[00:33:34] Dr. Mary: I definitely think so. I have journaled a little bit since we talked last. And I did journal the particularly stressful day around, the pumping and spiraling that I mentioned before. So that did help. But I think writing down my expectations for myself would be helpful. Especially down the road, maybe in a month when I kind of forget everything we've talked about and need to reset. I think that would be a good idea.

[00:34:04] Dr. Jessica Singh: So it sounds like your action plan is grounding in the breath, leaning into your support system, changing your expectations, giving yourself grace,

[00:34:20] Dr. Mary: Yeah, I think that's good. Letting that all solidify my brain. So that first day I am giving myself a healthy transition.

[00:34:32] Dr. Jessica Singh: It's interesting because I know this is our second session together and just looking even back at your first assessment before we started coaching in terms of, you know,, what is something you'd hope to let get out of our time together. One of the things you wrote was, I'm not sure if this is possible, but I specifically hope to be less tearful and regretful when going back to work at the end of maternity leave.

[00:34:57] Dr. Mary: That is exactly what I'm talking about. Definitely I'm a crybaby. So anxiety often manifests in crying and that's how I sometimes de stress. And I would love to have my first day not covered in tears, pretty much.

[00:35:19] Dr. Jessica Singh: How are you feeling right now?

[00:35:23] Dr. Mary: I am feeling hopeful. Not again, maternity leave pending and my first day of work is going to be perfect and flawless and that I'm going to love going back to work, but I'm, more hopeful that there can be a balance even if it ends up just being my own mindset that's shifting.

[00:35:49] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I share something with you that's just coming and you can take it or leave it, but

[00:35:55] Dr. Mary: Please.

[00:35:56] Dr. Jessica Singh: Just with, , sitting and listening to you and having this be a big year of first, first year of being a doctor, first year of being a mom and taking maternal leave and going back, , came to me was, I don't know how this sounds to you, but just the idea of even acknowledging or honoring the transition.

[00:36:19] So for instance, does the idea of having almost like, you know, the last day of maternity leave a ceremony or a ritual to just acknowledge your first day back, regardless of tears, regardless of, I mean, regardless of what happens, does the idea of having something that would acknowledge or commemorate the occasion resonate with you?

[00:36:39] And if it doesn't, it's okay. It just came as you were talking.

[00:36:42] Dr. Mary: No, does. I like that idea. I'm not sure what it would be. Maybe just sleeping all day before the first day going back when I wake up at like 3 30 in the morning or however early but I do like that idea. I'll definitely think on what I would like to do and maybe that would be good even for my husband too because it's going to be a big transition for him as well. And of course, my infant, although he won't really know what's going on, but doing something to commemorate the, we'll say the accomplishment of completing maternity leave and then going back.

[00:37:22] Dr. Jessica Singh: If you'd like to share, I'd love to know what you come up with

[00:37:26] Dr. Mary: I definitely will. Nothing comes to mind right now besides like eating a piece of pie or something or ice cream, but I think maybe something a little more unique. We'll see.

[00:37:39] Dr. Jessica Singh: Whatever comes to you, whatever feels right from your heart. So reflecting on this session and having the goal be optimism, how successful do you feel now in terms of having an action plan that will help you overcome spirals?

[00:37:58] Dr. Mary: I feel like this is a lot more possible. Especially thinking back and remembering that regular meditation throughout the day, grounding though, sometimes it's not easy to remember. It has been very effective for me, especially with very hard days. In the hospital. So knowing that I've done hard days before and that I've used some of these resources resources before already possible.

[00:38:30] Dr. Jessica Singh: What stands out to you most from our coaching conversation today? 

[00:38:36] Dr. Mary: I think right now, number one, feeling relaxed about going back. That's great. The big, because usually it makes my whole body tense up, including all my internal organs. But also going back, I think in the first session, I had mentioned thinking that the solution is probably very simple to finding this type of work life balance.

[00:39:01] And again, I'm thinking now, duh, the answer to at least this immediate stress is pretty simple, which is you know, I can't change the situation, but I can change the fact that I can just breathe and let my mind pause for a moment. And I can use the tools that I had these before. I've just been honestly so frazzled in my brain that I've forgotten that they existed, or that they worked for me before. So a simple answer doesn't mean that it's, you know, an easy problem or a simple problem, but it is. simple for me to remember now. Something small and I can apply.

[00:39:51] Dr. Jessica Singh: So utilizing what you know and applying that,

[00:39:56] Dr. Mary: There you go. That's the philosophy of counseling, isn't it?

[00:40:00] Dr. Jessica Singh: Philosophy of counseling, philosophy of coaching, philosophy of life.

[00:40:03] Dr. Mary: I meant coaching. Well, that was a Freudian slip. This is not counseling. This is coaching.

[00:40:08] Dr. Jessica Singh: And so keeping that, I know you said you felt it in your body, how you feel different now. Can you tell me where you're feeling it?

[00:40:21] Dr. Mary: Feeling it in my chest again, like a good light sensation, chest and shoulders, which is good because usually tension sits in my shoulders, so it's a different sensation, but same location.

[00:40:38] Dr. Jessica Singh: And I'd like to offer just to close our coaching session based on the theme of grounding with the breath. I know before we got onto this coaching for the recording, we had done grounding together. My question was, would you like to close with grounding? And if so, would you like to lead it? And it doesn't even have to be out loud.

[00:40:55] It could just be silent breaths of sitting together, whatever works for you. Cause like you said, you had wanted to start practicing it now.

[00:41:02] Dr. Mary: I think that's a great idea. If it's okay, I might just let it be in my head

[00:41:08] Dr. Jessica Singh: Would you like to just sit together for a couple moments in silence to close this? And we can honor this moment of silence by just taking three deep breaths together. Inhaling deeply and exhaling completely.

[00:41:59] Continuing at your own pace.

[00:42:12] And when you feel ready, go ahead and open your eyes.

[00:42:18] How is that for you?

[00:42:20] Dr. Mary: That was great.

[00:42:23] Dr. Jessica Singh: Thank you so much for this time together today.

[00:42:26] Dr. Mary: Thank you, Jessica. I appreciate it.

[00:42:28] Dr. Jessica Singh: Thank you for listening to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to making coaching more accessible and to support both physicians and those who coach them. Subscribe to access exclusive subscriber only episodes, including physician coaching sessions, coaching debriefs, and coach mentoring sessions that offer valuable insights for professional development for coaches.

[00:42:59] Your support helps sustain this work. Subscribe and leave a thoughtful review at www.holisticphysiciancoachingpodcast.com. Sending you warmth and light.